21 months 27 days

Day 666. I went to bed late again last night, and this morning the alarm woke us at 6:30 am, 90 minutes earlier than our typical get-up time. All the kids were still sleeping. I made their breakfast, and then Randy picked up Sammy to feed him and let the others continue sleeping. At 7:10 I left with Sammy. The other two had woken up by then, but were still in bed. It was up to Randy to feed them their breakfast.

The hospital gave us this eye appointment nearly 4 months ago, and I had to accept it, or I would not have chosen an appointment this early. We had 3 subways to take, and as it was rush hour, it went faster than usual. When he has physiotherapy, we go into the building where all the kids stuff is. Today we had to go into the main building, where I gave birth to them. There were two entries to get inside, one for people with written appointments, and one for people with phone appointments. Our line was much shorter. I just had to show them the printed out email with the appointment and my Covid test, and we were already inside.

We made our way to the eye department, where we had to register and then go to the waiting room. There were only a few people there; by the time we left at 9:30 it was crowded. But we had already arrived at 8 am, half an hour before the actual appointment. We were soon called in, and the doctor looked at Sammy and said that actually both his eyes were cross-eyed, one going to the outside, and the other to the inside. I told her that it has improved greatly these past few months. She gave him eye drops to look at his retina and sent us back to the waiting room. And that's where the waiting game started. I was pretty busy trying to keep him happy and occupied. I had the free subway paper and let him rip it apart, which he enjoys doing. The longer we waited the more cranky he became. He was also getting tired, after our early morning. Finally we were called in and another doctor shone a light into his eyes. She said everything was fine, and that he should come back in 3 months to see whether it has improved more. Before we left, we made another appointment for him for September.

Then we started our long journey home. Sammy was really tired, but fighting sleep, and that was fine with me, as I preferred putting him to bed at home than him sleeping in the stroller. We got home at 10:30, and I put him to bed right away. I tried for the others not to notice that I was back, but that didn't work. Emmy always starts crying hard for me to come and get him, and he did that today too, so I went into the play area and stayed a little, before going upstairs. I had to start cooking after all. With Emmy still/again crying, I went to get him and brought him upstairs, and soon after Randy and Tammy also came upstairs. It's always hard to cook and get the food ready, when a child wants to be in your arm. It was about 11:40 before we sat down to eat.

I was glad they ate better today, at least some of the items on their plates. After dessert I cleaned them up and dressed them, and decided to already put Emmy to bed. He was tired, and it had been an early morning, and while he was not happy at first, he did fall asleep fast. Once Tammy was ready, I still held her and waited a little bit, before putting her to bed. She was not happy at all, but also lay down to sleep after a while. As Sammy had already slept before lunch, he normally goes downstairs with Randy, but Randy thought he was still tired and decided to put him back to bed. I was surprised that he actually fell asleep again.

As for me, I was extremely tired and could barely keep my eyes open. I was even too tired to make myself something to eat. I had cooked for the kids and Randy. I lay down in bed and soon fell asleep instead of working. All the short nights were catching up with me. I never even heard Sammy or Emmy waking up. I only woke up when Tammy woke up crying. I jumped out of bed and picked her up and sat down in the chair with her. That's when I was surprised to see that the boys were not there. I called everyone upstairs to eat. I was still in bad shape, tired, with a headache, and really did not want to get up or move, but I did. Tammy and Emmy finished their jar pretty quickly, while running around, which surprised me, and they also had watermelon and peanut butter. I cleaned them up, changed their diapers, and dressed them, and went downstairs with them. After a while Randy and Sammy joined us. I stayed for a while, having fun with them, and left when I saw an opportunity to be able to do so without too much drama. I had not had a chance to do any work yet today. I sat down at the computer and had about an hour to work. I was still miserable, though the headache medication started to kick in. At 4:45 I stopped to go downstairs to spend some quality time with them and give Randy a break.

And we always have fun. I just didn't expect this to turn out to be one of those real physical playtimes. Tammy wanted to "fly" off the slide, and Sammy wanted to be thrown around as well. Emmy spent much time in the swing, which relaxes him, but also wanted me to hold him. He also likes playing ball with me, while he's swinging. I once again only spoke French with them, and got a few puzzled looks from them. I have not been consistent enough, and need to discipline myself to do this for an hour every day for them to actually learn French.

At 5:30 I left them to make dinner, and at 6 pm they came upstairs to eat. They eat their favorite foods first, and since it's been so hot, they have not eaten much bread. They didn't quite finish their food in the bathtub today. They had fun playing, and then came out to go to bed. I said good night and walked away. Randy left to pick up used swim rings from somebody. I was working at first, and then started making my food. Tammy was still fussing, and I ended up sitting down by her side for a little bit. She wasn't happy when I walked away, but fell asleep shortly after.

I was still eating, when Randy returned late. He had gone to the other end of town. Once I was done, I went to work, then cleaned the dining room and kitchen and returned to the computer. I can tell I got some sleep in the afternoon, as I'm not as tired as usual, but it's 1:30 am, and I definitely need to go to bed.